Blistered Thumbs

I recently purchased Just Cause 2 for my PC.

Rico takes a soothing drive through the countryside.

It's really, really addictive, since you can wreak all manner of havoc upon the huge island archipelago that is the setting for the game. I happen to own a wired Xbox 360 controller specifically for use with PC games, since some games are just easier to play on a computer with a gamepad versus a mouse and keyboard. Not many, but games like Batman: Arkham Asylum and Super Meat Boy are much more fun with a gamepad. Anyway, I've been playing the daylights out of JC2 (Not to be confused with Jesus Christ 2: the Jesusening) and something happened as a result. I have been playing games for almost 2 decades, but for the first time, one of my thumbs actually got a blister.

I know, stop the presses. Call CNN and get Oprah on the line. Big fucking deal, right? Well, no. But still, I actually played a game so much that I injured my hand, which is different than my usual hand injuries that result from days-long marathons of furious masturbation to bestiality midget hobo porn (hand cramps, hairy palms, etc).

The thumb casualty was a result of 2 things. I freaking love Just Cause 2 and am playing it way, way too much for my own good, and the people who designed the Xbox 360 controller are sadists. I say this because the buttons on the controller rise up into little hemispherical nubs of pain that can literally wear through layers of skin after a few hours of sweaty-palmed gaming madness. The PS3 controller is much easier on the hands, and even the ergonomically-impaired Wiimote doesn't suck as much. Granted, the thumbsticks are fine. The shoulder triggers are fine. But those damn A,B,X, and, like vowels, sometimes Y buttons absolutely murder my right thumb.

Pictured: slayer of my phalangeal epidermis.

I guess I can always mitigate things like thumb blisters by not playing so many damn videogames, but what's the fun in that? None fun, that's what's in that! Also, I need to take English classes, but that's another story. What's the moral of this story, you ask? Oh, you didn't ask? Well fuck you then! The moral is don't play so much of a game that your thumbs become red and tattered from relentless button pressing. Or something.